There is a time for everything,
a time to kill and a time to heal. —Eccl 3
Healing is a dirty word for me. I saw entirely too much “healing” in the charismatic/Pentecostal circles I traveled in as a teenager. Usually—almost always, actually—people weren’t healed, and this was usually blamed on their insufficient faith. If they really believed, they were told, they’d really have been healed.
There was a lot of casting out of demons too, now that I think about it, and I’m suspicious of that too. Not that I believe in demons quite like that anymore, but I am skeptical that people ever really cast out their personal demons. Maybe they learn to manage them, but they never really go away.
Lately, though, my mind has started to change—“started,” I say, because I’m not quite there yet. But I’ve begun to question my suspicion that healing never really happens.
Recently I was diagnosed with a chronic hormonal deficiency, and the symptoms of it affect every part of my life—waking, sleeping, mood, disposition. I’ve only just started treatment for it. It’s the sort of thing that has to be ramped up until we find the right level of treatment, and only time and experimentation will tell.
I’m not there yet, but for the first time in a long time I’m hopeful that I’ll be healed. It’s a strange definition of healing, to be sure. After all, even once we find the right level of treatment, I’ll only be one trip to the pharmacy away from relapse. It’s not the sort of thing where you take a pill for ten days and call it done.
But I’m hoping all the same for some one injection at a time healing. I wouldn’t say I believe in it, not just yet. After all these years of dealing with these problems, undiagnosed, seeing will be believing. To think, though, that after all these years, relief might be in sight, that I might wake up refreshed each morning and find some of those inner demons cast out, I think that’s worth at least a little hope on my part.
Here’s to thinking things might get better. Here’s to healings yet to come.
(Photo by atomicity. Used under Creative Commons license.)